breathing - in and out

I have been searching and reading a lot on topical steriod addiction as of late and the more I think about it the more I KNOW that this is Cruz. Here are my fears: Does this include his asthma puffers? What about Benadryl? What if anything can be given to him if he is having a crazy itch attack? If I start him on the withdrawl process all it takes is one time for my Mom to f*** it up.

I am so sick and tired of living in fear. Fear of every god damned thing. Will Cruz ever function optimally? Will his Dad ever not be an ass****, will my Mom ever be supportive, will I find a better job, should I quit this one, should I be at home with my son and not worry about money and live a more poor life, CAN someone/anyone give me the ANSWERS? Please?

So on top of reading about all this steroid addiction I am still in the process of getting Cruz to a) have baths and b) get his blood work done for allergy testing. He was prescribed ativan to ease him so he'd be less afraid of getting it done but nope it sure didn't help. Made him a lot loopy but still my little fighter was there. God I just admire the fight in him though. Those nurses were sure on their toes and very worried. We ended up leaving, but now what?

I have to thank facebook for the groups...the eczema group, and the food allergy friend group. I am thankful for all the people out there sharing experiences and being straight up and not holding back in their journey to having healthier non-ithcy kids.

Okay, so I need to breathe... and pick every Mom's brain who has or is going thru this because this smile could be brighter!