Happy days...con't

If I sound like a total bummer today it's probably because I feel a little bummed out. Cruz is getting a little itchier as the days go on. I posted the Adele song because I feel like I'm rolling in the deep. My brain is FULL of ideas as to what happens to my son in his body and what makes him scratch his gorgeous body till it bleeds. It is so frustrating. I know as a parent you are supposed to look at pictures admiring your beautiful child...but when I look at pictures I remember when his skin was either good or bad. Seem awful hey? I feel awful. When I look at past photos I see when he was super happy, thriving, and enjoying being in a certain place or outing and blame it on his eczema. To me eczema is a frigging nightmare that controls our life! I hate it and I feel so badly for my son.

I got a call yesterday from BC Children's hospital and the day for Cruz's surgery has come. He needs to be circumcised because he has undesirable foreskin. And when it doesn't retract and having eczema head to toe you also get it on your penis. So with his undesirable foreskin and eczema he has had a few infections and needs the surgery. I know it needs to be done but with everything this child of mine endures what the eff else? I feel so badly. I really hope it all goes well and he won't be upset or blame me for it. He often asks me why I take him to different doctors, why I put cream on him, why he has to bathe...etc... He lives in his jammies because they are cool and now he wants to wear them everywhere because of it.

When will we get a little peace?

Happy days?

As the days roll on

I haven't posted in a while only because I simply cannot find the time. Life is super busy. Cruz's skin is more mending daily. He still hates bathing, fights me tooth and nail not to have one because of the fear he has over them when it used to burn his skin. I hope he gets over this fear. He is rising in terms of his fears as well. He nhow tells me and whoever to wash their hands when they are going to touch him. He freaks out over bugs. And doesn't want to go outside because that's where the bugs are. I understand I am somewhat to blame due to my fear of bee's. This only stems from being a child stung and alone. We are no longer in daycare because we got terminated...my lack of communication with them. Which is a blessing in disguise to be honest. He did the "happy" dance when we found out and is still happy that he doesn't have to go back. Some anxiety issues I know!

Still doing the homeopathy drops and vega testing, and he is doing great! Still itchy and a little boy about to turn 4 and I am hopeful for the best!